


Shadows Speak of Love

by epeeblade



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, F/F, Fairy Tales, Fix-It, Grief, Love, happy endings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-08-11 18:44:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20158306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/epeeblade/pseuds/epeeblade
Summary: Maria Hill returns from the Snap and knows the world is wrong. She intends to fix it.





	1. Prologue

“Once upon a time,” the shadow said, “There was a young boy, much like yourself. And he loved his stuffed rabbit so much, until one day, the rabbit became real, and hopped away into the night.”

“Is that a true story?” he said, burrowing deeper into the covers of his bed, holding on tight to his stuffed bear. The thought that his beloved could run away without him made him sad.

“Oh, sweetie, it’s not a bad thing. The rabbit earned his life, and the boy had grown too old for his toys.”

He held his bear tighter. He’d never get too big to love Tyger. 

“But, I suppose, no, it isn’t a true story. Although it would be nice to be loved back to life.” 

There was the heavy sound of footsteps on the wood floor outside, and then daddy threw open the door and turned on the lights. “Nate? Who are you talking to up here?”

The lights illuminated the entire room, making the shadows disappear. Nate sat up in bed and wiped his eyes. “Aunt Nat. But you made her go away when you turned on the lights.”

Daddy looked terribly serious. He came over and sat on the edge of Nate’s bed and tousled his hair. “It was just a dream, kiddo. You must have been talking in your sleep.”

“But she was here. In the shadows.”

Daddy gave him a kiss and pulled up his covers. “All right. The next time you see her, say hi for me.”

“I always do.”


	2. Chapter 1

Maria Hill pulled up outside the Stark residence and turned the engine off. Never in her wildest dreams could she have imagined Tony Stark living in a place like this, but somehow in the past five years he’d mellowed out.

Five years during which she had been dead. 

Well. Not quite. Five years where the world had gone on without her. Between the blink of an eye, five years had passed while she stood in the same New York City street.

And Tony Stark was dead - had died saving the world apparently.

And so was Natasha.

Even thinking it had her chest hurting. Maria put her hand over her heart and curled it into a fist. It still didn’t feel real. Within a blink of an eye she’d lost the person who mattered most to her. 

I need time, she’d told Fury.

How much time, woman?

Give me time to grieve.

He hadn’t had words to say to that. She should have been proud she’d been able to shut up the great Nicholas Fury, Jr. Instead, Maria just felt tired. The prospect of rebuilding the world, or whatever the hell Fury wanted SHIELD to do now seemed overwhelming. 

And it wasn’t like she could get any sleep.

She got out of the car and made her way to the front door, every step felt like she walked through molasses. Her body kept moving, but not without resistance, like the entire world fought her movements. It felt like someone else’s hand lifted to ring the doorbell.

Pepper opened it with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “Maria. It’s so good to see you.”

Maria let Pepper hug her, not knowing how much she needed the physical contact until the arms of someone else were wrapped around her. She held on to her control with every fiber of her being. She couldn’t lose it now, not when she’d come this far. “I’m sorry. About missing the funeral.”

She couldn’t do it. Face all of Natasha’s friends and colleagues and Natasha not be there.

“You’re here now. Come on in.” Pepper ushered her inside. “Morgan is playing in her room. I’ll have to check on her in a bit, but we have a few moments of privacy. Would you like some tea? Coffee? Whiskey?” She added with a wry smile.

Maria barely registered the decor of the house - the home. This wasn’t a Pepper Potts special, something artfully decorated to convey an image. This was the house she’d built with Tony Stark, the only other true death of the aftermath. Maria had hoped Pepper would understand. They’d become friendly when Maria worked for Stark Industries - she’d respected Pepper just as much as she had Fury.

“I think tea.” She sat on the couch, hands caught between her knees as Pepper puttered around in the kitchen.

“Jasmine Green all right with you? I find it soothing.”

“Sounds lovely.” Even her words sounded like they were coming from someone else.

Pepper came over with two mugs. Maria took one and cupped her hands around it, staring down at the pale liquid. She wasn’t a fortune teller and the future wasn’t written in tea leaves. But who could have foretold any of the past events?

“I’m sorry. About Tony.” Because she was. Stark had been a pain in her ass, but the world was much poorer without him.

“Thank you,” Pepper said. She sounded like she’d gotten used to it. 

Maria wondered if she’d ever get used to it. If it were her who stood in front of hundreds and accepted condolences for the one she loved. Would she be as composed and collected as Pepper sat now?

“Do you see him in the shadows?” The words slipped out before Maria could take them back. 

Pepper blinked and sat back. “I think I see him out of the corner of my eye sometimes. I turn around to tell him something, and of course, he’s not there.”

“But do you hear him?” Maria saw the shocked look on Pepper’s face and shook her head. “I have to explain something, first, before.”

She swallowed. This was hard. She’d known that it was going to be. Maria pressed on. “Before I disappeared for five years…”

“The Snap,” Pepper said, “We called it the Snap.”

Maria nodded. That was as good a name as any. “Before the Snap, Natasha and I were together.”

“Together?”

“We were lovers. Girlfriends. Partners.” She ran a hand through her disheveled hair, not remembering if she’d even brushed it that morning. The words failed her. They could not convey everything Natasha was to her.

“Oh, Maria.” Pepper set down her tea and joined Maria on the couch, putting a gentle hand on Maria’s shoulder. “Forgive me. I thought she and Bruce…”

That had been a mess. “Before that, she and I were just friends with benefits, you know?” Maria closed her eyes, images of Natasha after a sparring session, sweaty with exertion and fire in her eyes. More than one training session ended up in Maria’s bed. Back then it was just sex - passion and heat, and nothing more than potential.

“But it’s when he left that we became serious. I think losing him made her realize what was important.” Natasha had described it as putting her feet in the dirt instead of having her head in the clouds. Maria had liked that. It felt like she was that bit of dependability that Natasha needed in her life.

“Sometimes that’s necessary.” Pepper sounded like she understood. And perhaps she did. She and Tony had a difficult road together.

Maria ducked her head. “Yeah, what’s the saying? You don’t know what you’ve got until you lost it?” The last word ended on a sob.

Pepper very gently took the cup of tea out of her hands and put it on the table. Then she took Maria’s hands between her own. “I am so sorry.

“Sometimes I hear her. If it’s dark enough, not too dark, but if there are shadows. At first I thought I was going crazy, but then, look at my life? I thought, maybe there was something in the way that she died. Maybe it made it so she could stick around? Somehow?”

Maria knew it was half hope and wishes, but the alternative was too difficult to bear.

Pepper frowned. “What do you know about the way she died?”

“I know only what everyone knows. What Cap said at the press conference after the battle.” 

It had been too easy to hate him, standing up there on the podium, announcing the deaths of two heros that had been instrumental in bringing the lost back. Maria hadn’t realized then that she was one of said lost.

“Oh, Maria. I’m so sorry. I wish I’d known.”

She didn’t realize she’d started to cry. Pepper’s sympathy was almost too much. Maria hadn’t let herself cry, not even in the shadows. So when Pepper wrapped her in a hug, hands rubbing comforting circles on her back, Maria let go and finally gave into grief.

***

“You’re on the right path, Masha.”

The words came on the end of a dream, as Maria woke. She blinked and sat up, finding herself still on Pepper’s couch, half-covered with a blanket. She must have cried herself to sleep. Maria let her head fall into her hands as she heated with embarrassment.

This wasn’t her. Agent Maria Hill was calm, cool and collected. She did not fall apart. She didn’t dwell in grief.

She swallowed. Maybe that wasn’t who she was anymore.

Maria breathed in deeply and inhaled the scent of … waffles? She pushed the blanket aside and followed her nose to the kitchen where she found Pepper and her daughter wrangling an Iron Man waffle maker. 

“You’re awake.” Pepper licked syrup off her fingers. 

Maria swallowed. “Yeah. Thank you for the use of your couch.”

The little girl - Morgan, that was her name - turned and held out of the plates to Maria. Syrup overflowed from the Iron Man mask’s eyes. “Want a waffle?”

“Waffles make everything better,” Pepper said. 

Maria could read the sadness there. “Thank you very much. I’d love one.”

She sat at the table and dug in, surprised at the lightness of the taste. Considering this was Pepper, she bet the waffles were made with gluten free flour and were vegan, but still, they tasted fluffy and sweet. And somehow, eating them did make her feel better. 

“On Saturdays,” Pepper began, “Bruce comes over for lunch.”

Maria used her last piece of waffle to chase all the syrup on the bottom of the plate. “Oh?”

“I think it might be good if you talked to him. About what you told me. He was there when all of it happened. I wasn’t. Not until the end when … well, she was already gone.” Pepper pressed her lips together until they formed a straight line.

Sometimes Maria needed to remember she wasn’t the only one grieving here. She put her hand on Pepper’s wrist and squeezed gently. 

“You can stay the night. That will save you the drive back. We have plenty of guest rooms.” Pepper pulled her arm away to go rescue another steaming hot waffle. “And I think Morgan has always wanted a sleepover.”

“Can we stay up late and watch Moana again?” Morgan licked syrup off of increasingly sticky fingers. 

Despite herself, Maria smiled. “I think that sounds fantastic.”

***

No one had warned her about Bruce. Maria had seen him on TV, giving that press conference while green, a mix between his old human self and the hulk. She didn’t realize it was a permanent condition.

Granted, she wasn’t feeling quite up to snuff this morning. They had indeed stayed up late watching Disney movies. Pepper had made popcorn covered with thick caramel. Maria had laughed.

God. When was the last time she’d laughed?

She was conscious, the entire time, as they sat in front of the flickering TV screen, of the shadows behind them. If she didn’t pay attention, she wouldn’t see Natasha out of the corner of her eye, smiling and laughing with them.

Fuck. She was going insane. That had to be the only explanation.

They were eating outside. Pepper had set up lunch on a picnic table, and seeing Bruce perch on the edge of one of the benches only emphasized how absurdly huge he was. Maria couldn’t imagine him fitting inside the house. 

After he finished a hamburger the size of a plate, and Maria choked down her hot dog, Pepper sent Morgan to play in her tent. She was still within their line of sight, but hopefully couldn’t hear the adult conversation.

Bruce took a sip of beer, and then set the bottle down, playing with the label. “Pepper told me you wanted to talk about Natasha.”

“I didn’t want him to be surprised,” Pepper said quietly. She held a can of sparkling water, but she hadn’t had a drink from it for a while.

Maria watched Morgan play for a moment, trying to put her thoughts into words. But before she could say anything, Bruce burst out with, “I tried to bring her back. I did. But the stones wouldn’t let me.”

She turned to face him, taking in the sorrow in his eyes, which looked so odd on the hulk, on whose face she’d only seen rage before. “What?”

“Bruce is the one who brought everyone back,” Pepper explained. “He had the gauntlet first. Before Thanos returned.”

“I thought Stark…” That’s what they said in the news broadcasts. That Tony Stark had saved them all. 

“He deserved the credit,” Bruce said. “And he’s the one who had the gauntlet last. Who defeated Thanos forever. It’s what killed him.”

Pepper looked away, and Maria bit her lip. “Do you think,” she said finally, “that what you did might have brought her back wrong?”

He gave her a sharp look. “What do you mean?”

If she wanted answers she had to tell the truth. “I see her sometimes in the shadows. Always at night. Sometimes I can even hear her. But if I look too closely she disappears.”

Maria didn’t mention how she hadn’t been sleeping well, at all, conscious of being watched from the shadows, desperate for more.

Bruce put his hand on her shoulder, very gently for someone so large. “Agent Hill - Maria - have you considered it might be just grief? It’s hard to lose anyone, but these circumstances were terrible.”

Maria had considered it. She’d hoped she wasn’t losing her mind, that Natasha was there reaching out from the other side. She’d seen stranger things in the SHIELD archives. But a small part of her feared Bruce was right, that this visitation was nothing more than her mind trying to deal with not being able to say goodbye.

“Except I saw her,” Pepper spoke up. “Last night.”

Maria and Bruce both turned to stare at her.

“I was walking back to my bedroom. There’s a corner that’s always in shadow, even with the nightlight. I saw her out of the corner of my eye, but I didn’t turn to look. She spoke to me. Told me to help Masha.”

Maria nearly fell off the bench. “That’s me. It’s Russian for Maria. There’s absolutely no way you could have known that she called me that.”

Bruce looked stunned. “Oh my God.” He got up and started to pace, muttering words like “quantum entanglement” and “out of phase with reality” and “magic is the missing variable in the equation.”

“Bruce,” Pepper interrupted, pulling him out of his fugue.

He stopped pacing and sighed. “The problem is that magic isn’t logical. Well, it has its own internal logic - rules that can’t be broken, but the reasons behind them, well, to a scientist they sound very arbitrary.”

Bruce sat back on the bench and picked up his beer again, which he used to gesture. “Natasha sacrificed herself so we could obtain the soul stone. Once I had all six stones, I should have had infinite power. My wish to bring her back should have worked. But it didn’t because magic.” He said the last word like a curse. “What is the use of infinite power when I couldn’t do the one thing I wanted to?”

Maria reached out and touched his hand, still scarred from the gauntlet. He had cared for Natasha too. “It’s not your fault.”

“But you managed to do something,” Pepper pointed out. 

“If Tony were here,” Bruce started and then sat up straight. “Do you think he tried to bring her back, too?”

Of course he would have. “Where’s the gauntlet now?” Maria flexed her fingers, as if she could feel it around her hand now. She’d wish for Natasha back and it would have to return her.

“Maria. It would kill you. No human can handle that much power.” Pepper said.

“I don’t care!” Maria stood, feeling herself flush with anger.

“She wouldn’t want you to do that,” Pepper shot back.

“Then she shouldn’t have sacrificed herself in the first place!”

“It doesn’t matter,” Bruce interjected quietly. “We don’t have the stones. Cap took them back into the past where we got them. We had to. Otherwise the entire fabric of reality would have unraveled.”

Maria turned to face him, all the wind taken out of her sails. “Cap? The same Captain America who’s apparently disappeared? You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?”

Bruce coughed. “Look, the person you need to talk to is Dr. Strange. He’s the expert on magic and the stones.”

Maria straightened up. Finally, a course of action. “Great. Let’s go see him.”

Before either Pepper or Bruce could respond, Morgan came running back to the table, a soccer ball in hand. “Do you want to play with me, Miss Maria?”

She swallowed. Thought of all the games of soccer Tony Stark would never play with his child. She looked into the shadows cast by the trees and for a moment saw Natasha nodding at her.

“Yeah, kid. I play a mean game of soccer.”


	3. Interlude

“Once upon a time, there was a little puppet who told so many lies her nose began to grow and grow and grow. But she learned how to hide her lies.”

“How did she do that?”

“By cutting off her nose. Don’t look so shocked. She was only a puppet. Made out of wood. Not a real girl at all.”

Nate pulled up the covers to his chin. He liked that Auntie Nat kept visiting him, but he had to keep quiet or else Daddy would come in again and be sad. “If she wasn’t real, then how could she lie?”

“Well, you see that’s what puppets are. They lie for their masters, the ones holding the strings.” She leaned forward, out of the shadows and half of her disappeared. Almost as quickly, she sat back again.

“Is this a happy story?”

He could see the whites of her teeth as she smiled. “Aren’t all my stories happy ones?”

“Not always.”

“True. But this one ends happily. Because you see one day the little puppet was able to become a real girl. All she had to do was find the blue-eyed fairy and marry her.”

“I’m not sure that’s how the story ends.”

“My version does.”


	4. Chapter 2

_How do I do this? Do I just knock on the door of a wizard?_

Maria stood outside of 177A Bleecker Street, ignoring the sound of New York traffic behind her. The world hadn’t quite shifted back into place, even here, and the normal eb and flow of the sounds of people’s voices, and vehicles, and other city sounds were muted. 

She could only imagine what it must have been like for five years, with half of the population gone. 

Five years. That’s how long Natasha had lived without Maria, thinking she’d failed, somehow moving forward. Somehow managing to save everyone.

Maria touched the stone of the dwelling, surprised to find it warm. Her thoughts continued to twist, and she shut her eyes for a moment, trying to stop thinking so hard. The world was a mess. It always was, always will be. She’d joined the army and then SHIELD trying to make it less of one. She’d failed.

Now she wanted to snatch whatever chance of happiness she had left.

Maria knocked on the door. She looked for a bell or an intercom, but didn’t see either. “Hello?” she called, tapping again. “I’m here to see Dr. Strange!” 

Nothing. For a moment she thought he might simply not be in. But then sense got the better of her.

She banged on the door again. “I’m not leaving until I speak with him.”

She really shouldn’t have been surprised by the portal that opened up beneath her feet. Maria shrieked as she fell, the world spinning around her in shard of bright light. When the ground appeared, her training took over and she landed in a roll to minimize any injuries.

“Can’t have you disturbing the neighbors,” came a deep gravelly voice. 

Maria got to her feet and took in the appearance of the stranger - tall, goatee, cape. She hadn’t seen him on any of the press conferences, and had only Bruce’s word to go on about his role in the entire thing. He should have been in a SHIELD file somewhere. 

At the very least she’d have plenty of information for Fury when she got back to work.

“Dr. Strange, I presume.”

He winced. “Look, I don’t know who told you how to get here, but I can’t solve every damn problem the Snap caused. Magic doesn’t work that way.”

“You’ve been getting a lot of visitors, I guess.” Maria straightened her shoulders and crossed her arms over her chest. “Dr. Banner sent me. To talk to you about the Soul stone.”

He stiffened, a visible change in his demeanor. “Dr. Banner should know better. The Sanctum is supposed to be secret. I can’t protect the world from supernatural forces if people keep coming over to chat.”

“I thought you were supposed to be some kind of wizard, not an asshole.”

His lips quirked in something like a smile. “Why not both? And it’s Sorcerer, not wizard. Sorcerer Supreme.”

Any other day she’d think he was yanking her chain. “As long as we are giving our credentials, it’s Agent Hill. Formerly of Stark Enterprises, now back to SHIELD again.”

“I thought SHIELD no longer existed.”

“It doesn’t.” She gave him her best Fury-inspired stare.

He sighed. “I try to stay out of these little alphabet agency squabbles. Tell me, Agent Hill, what is it you so desperately need to talk to me about?”

“Natasha Romanov. Sacrificed herself for the soul stone.” The fact that she could say it now without her voice trembling must mean some kind of growth. Or perhaps now that Maria thought she might have a chance of saving her, meant she had moved beyond grief to determination.

“And what do you want me to do about this?”

“You’re the expert on magic,” Maria snapped. “Why didn’t she come back when they wished her back? Or hell, when Cap returned the damn stone.”

“Magic has rules…”

“I’ve heard this before. What rule says that infinite power has a limitation? I thought that was the definition of infinite.” Despite herself, Maria began to pace. This was just a problem like any other. It could be solved, once she got the right experts involved and doing their damn job. 

She felt his eyes on her as she walked and Maria didn’t care. Unless she was about to walk through a wall into Hogwarts or something. This place looked too fancy, like it was hiding something.Who the hell did you hire to decorate the interior of a magic sanctum in New York City? 

Knowing this city, someone specialized in it.

“Who was Natasha Romanov to you?” His words stopped Maria in her tracks.

She turned, the words caught in her throat. “My heart.”

He gasped and strode toward her. Maria realized her pacing had put in half in the shadows along one wall. She knew if she turned, there would be the shadowy form of her beloved behind her.

He lifted his hands and contorted his fingers as he began to chant. Light formed around him in brightly colored shapes and signs. Maria itched to grab her phone to record this - Fury was going to go ballistic over this - but restrained herself to attempting to memorize it instead.

Abruptly he lowered his hands and the light show stopped. “This is going to take a while. I need to explore the archives. Please, have a cup of tea while you wait.”

He flicked his hand again, and suddenly Maria found herself sitting at a table with a crimson tablecloth edged in gold, set with fine china. Steam billowed from a cream colored teapot. Strange himself, disappeared.

Maria signed and took one of the chocolate cookies from platter. It looked like she be waiting a while.

But for the first time, she had hope.

***

“The problem with love,” Dr. Strange said, before completely emerging from the silver portal. He carried a small book, which he placed on the table with the tea set and sent clouds of dust into the air. “Is that it breaks all the damn rules of magic.”

Maria’s heart began to race. “That’s a good thing.”

Broken rules meant she’d get Natasha back. The stupid Soul stone didn’t rule over all. It couldn’t. 

“You’d think so, but it’s so unpredictable. The best evidence I have is a journal entry, written about a hundred years after said events had taken place.” He made a face. “Completely unreliable.”

“At this point I’ll take it.”

“You’re going to have to.” He speared her with his gaze, those mesmerizing eyes that apparently had all the secrets of the universe behind them. “For in order for this to work you must have absolute faith.”

She swallowed. “That I have in spades. I’m here, aren’t I?”

“I said faith, not sheer stubbornness.” He sighed, took a seat across from her and began to pour himself a cup of tea. “It’s always messy when Asgardians are involved.”

“Asgard? As in Thor?”

“Contrary to popular belief, there are other Asgardians besides Thor.” He grimaced, then, probably remembering that the current number of Asgardians was greatly reduced. Maria herself, had been shocked when she’d learned about the colony of them currently living on Earth. “And in this case, this happened hundreds of years ago. As you know, the historical record is spotty. So here we have a journal entry recalling a story told by the girl’s mother, told by her mother, and so on.”

“I assume this is relevant.”

“Well now, that’s up to you.” He gave her a calculating look, one Maria didn’t know what to think of. “This is the story. Once upon a time two women loved the same man.”

“Typical.” Even in fairy tales there had to be love triangles.

“When he tragically died in battle, both of their hearts were broken. But somehow they came together to create the Love stone. That stone brought him back before shattering.”

“What kind of twee bullshit is that?” Maria snapped. Rage filled her, blood rushing in her ears. How dare this man talk to her like this. “Fucking fairy tales about true love conquering all?”

“Isn’t that what this is? You have to understand each of the stones embodies an archetype. The Time stone for example.” He briefly touched the golden eye at his chest. “We know about six of them, but that doesn’t mean more don’t exist. And if the Soul stone has a special condition like personal sacrifice, why can’t Love have its own rules?”

“Banner was right. Magic is stupid.” Maria rubbed her forehead, trying to make the throbbing go away. 

“It merely operates under a set of rules that are unfamiliar to you.” He put his hand on the journal and frowned. “Something already brought her back part way. We need to finish the job.”

Maria swallowed. “And you think this Love stone is the way to do it?”

“Yes,” he said with the conviction of a man who’d decided he was never wrong. “You have one half of a broken heart, now if we just get Dr. Banner here and…”

For a moment Maria was confused. Then she remembered that most people had been aware of Natasha’s history with Banner - some of it had been played for the media, to humanize the Hulk. It felt like decades ago now, and, hah, her breath hitched, it was almost a decade ago. She shouldn’t forget the missing five years.

“No,” she told him, realizing how very wrong he was. “Banner’s heart isn’t broken. But I know who we need to find.”

Damn it, Barton.


	5. Interlude 2

“Why haven’t you told me any new stories?”

Nate knew his Aunt Natasha was there. She always watched out for him, guarding him from the shadows. But she hadn’t spoken in days.

“Because those are fairy tales,” she said, her voice raspy and raw. “And fairy tales don’t always come true.”

He could hear it in the hitch of her voice, even if he couldn’t see the tears. She was crying. 

Nate climbed out of the bed and trotted over to the corner in bare feet. “It’ll be okay, Aunt Nat.” He reached out with one hand, not knowing if he could touch her. Maybe she was just a dream like Daddy said.

“Nathaniel, get away from there! Get over here, now!” Daddy shouted from the door.

Nate did what Daddy said, and ran. Daddy pulled him into the hallway, before turning back to Nate’s bedroom and shouting. “You leave him alone! You haunt me! You hear me? Me. I’m the one who deserves it!”

He had no idea what Daddy was talking about, nor why Daddy sank to the floor after closing the door, pressing his hands against his forehead. “Daddy?” Nate sat next to him.

Daddy put his arm around Nate and tugged him close. He smelled like fresh grass. 

“Hey, bud. How’d you like to sleep with me and Momma tonight?”

“But, Daddy, Aunt Nat…”

“I don’t want you to worry about that.” Daddy frowned, and Nate hated it when he frowned. “I’ll take care of it.”


	6. Chapter 3

Maria emerged from the portal, coming to land on soft grass that was such a contrast from the tile floor in the Sanctum. She blinked away dizziness, and glad the nausea Strange had mentioned hadn’t struck her. Still, the bright sunlight dazzled her, so much purer here in the country that in the city.

She hadn’t been to the Barton family farm in years. But it hadn’t changed at all - sturdy farmhouse, surrounded by vast fields of green. The only thing that seemed out of place was the silence.

A child’s shout broke that like the shattering of a mirror. A young boy ran past her, being chased by an older boy, both of whom had outpaced the girl following at a much slower pace, a golden dog at her heels. 

“You can’t catch me!”

“Watch me!” The older boy tumbled the younger into a pile of leaves, both of them giggling as they rolled over and over.

The front door to the farmhouse opened, and a familiar woman came out to the front porch. Laura Barton. Natasha had always like Laura, because she was so normal. She always said Laura was good for Clint. Maria suspected Natasha had something to do with the two of them getting together, but it was one of Clint’s many secrets Natasha kept close to her heart. 

Maria knew the two were thick as thieves, like twin siblings though they’d been born apart. She’d never get between them. Clint was family.

“Maria.” Laura stopped and smiled when she said her. “I didn’t hear you drive up.” She looked around and seemed to realize the lack of car.

“I kind of took an interdimensional portal to get here.” Maria winced.

“You should come inside. Lila,” she pitched her voice louder, “Why don’t you take the boys to the barn and play hide and seek?”

“Fine, Mom. Come on!” The girl started to run, the dog barking in glee, and her brothers followed. 

Maria watched them wistfully. They’d survived and thrived, one of the lucky ones who got a second chance after the Snap. She swallowed back the grief that rose in her throat as she climbed the stairs to the front porch and followed Laura inside.

“Do you want something to drink? I have fresh squeezed lemonade.” She had opened the ancient white fridge and Maria couldn’t bring herself to refuse. At least it wasn’t more tea.

They sat around the kitchen table, sipping tall glasses of cold lemonade. Laura had been liberal with the sugar, but Maria missed the bite of the sourness. They were silent, again strange, no sound except for the clink of the glass upon the table when Maria set down her drink.

“You were gone, too?” Laura asked.

“For five years apparently,” Maria said. For a moment they shared a look of understanding, the wonder that the world had gone on perfectly well without them.

Well, perhaps not so perfectly well. 

“So you don’t know what happened to Clint?” Laura got up and took her glass to the sink where she spent an inordinate amount of time washing it. “He’s not the same. He’s too quiet. And he won’t talk about it. Nat used to…” she trailed off.

If anyone could get Clint to talk about something he didn’t want to talk about, it was Natasha. Other than Laura, Clint confided in her the most. Maria traced her initials in the condensation of the glass. “Did he tell you how she died?”

Laura turned around and leaned against the counter. She shook her head. “He didn’t even mention her until I asked. Then he went on one of his walks.” She held up her hands and made finger quotes. “He hasn’t touched his bow in...months? I can’t remember seeing it in his hands. Not even when Lila asked to try target practice...it was the only time he’s ever said no to her. She hasn’t asked him again.”

Maria’s belly flip flopped. If Clint was as broken as Laura described, that meant they had a hope of Dr. Strange’s plan working. Of course, she couldn’t tell Laura that. Who’d want to hear her husband currently nursed a broken heart?

But Laura and Natasha had been close too. Still, Maria couldn’t tell her. Not when she wasn’t sure if it would even work.

“Let me talk to him. Where is he?”

Laura told her.

***

She found former Agent Clint Barton, alias Hawkeye, alias Ronin, now just Clint Barton, standing overlooking a gorge that signaled the end of his property. Maria didn’t like the look in his eyes, how he traced the distance, but didn’t seem to see anything. Clint always had something in his sights, and to see him looking at nothing meant the worst.

She walked to the edge and stood next to him. He knew she was there - his shoulders stiffened and his breathing sped up. Still he didn’t look in her direction.

“I miss her, too,” Maria said.

He closed his eyes and turned away from the edge. “You shouldn’t say that to me. I’m the reason she’s dead.”

Maria collected a dozen responses and picked the only one that would stop him from spiraling right now. “Do you want to be the reason she’s alive again?”

He turned in her direction so fast it had to give him whiplash. His eyes widened and he took a step toward her. Then Clint shook his head. “Don’t do that. Don’t give me false hope. Bruce did that and look where we are.”

“Have you seen her in the shadows?”

“Because she’s haunting me. She knows what I did.”

“Then she’s haunting me too, Clint.” Maria took a step forward and placed her hand over Clint’s heart. “Trust me, I know how much it hurts. How it feels like you will never be whole again. I need you to think about that feeling.”

He blinked down at her. “What the hell?”

She could feel it. The power swirled around them. He must have listened to her, holding on so tightly to his grief and pain. Good. That’s what they needed. 

“Put your hand over my heart.”

He hesitated. She rolled her eyes. “You’re not going to touch my boob and even if you do, I don’t care. Just do it, Barton.”

He snapped into action, placing his overly large hand in the center of her chest. Maria could feel her heart thump faster in response. “Follow my lead.” 

She swallowed. They had one chance, one impossible chance. She was believing a crazy man who walked around in a cape and had a horrible goatee. But Maria clung to her hope.

“She was your sister,” she said.

“She was your lover,” Clint matched her. Good, he always was smarter than he let on.

“We loved her.”

“We loved her.”

Maria could feel the power rising now, thundering with the beat of her own heart, which now beat in time with Clint’s. Two hearts, shattered by one death. “I call forth the Love stone.”

She pulled her hand from Clint’s heart, and he did the same, then she clasped their hands together, holding tight. Maria closed her eyes and she prayed, not to a god that may or may not be there, but to Natasha. Please, please, please, I love you.

Warmth spread from her palm, then down her arm, through her shoulder and all throughout her body. She filled with heat and pain, so much she thought she couldn’t stand it for a moment more. But she had to.

The heat abruptly switched to ice, no less scalding, before fading away completely. Maria untangled her hand from Clint’s and found, clutched inside her palm, a perfect red stone. It caught the light of the sun, glinting as if it burned from within.

“Maria,” Clint breathed, “Are you going to explain any of this?”

“Maybe later.” She held out the stone and cried out into the universe. “Give us Natasha back!”

The wind started at her feet, whirling around her ankles like a stubborn puppy, before picking up and blowing the trees around them so hard they all but bent in half. Maria could feel it in her navel, the universe bending around them, obeying her will.

She closed her eyes, overwhelmed with memories as they began to flood her. A cocky young Natalia Romanova, being brought in by Agent Barton, all swagger and bluster and with terribly vulnerable eyes.

Natasha challenging her in training, no less arrogant, but this time with a smile and friendship.

Natasha, bloodied after Budapest, where she and Clint had nearly died. Maria had lost her heart then, but didn’t know it.

Natasha, above her in their bed, her hair falling over them like a curtain, tendrils of blood red that Maria loved to run her fingers through.

Natasha, the last time Maria saw her, switching sides to go after Cap. Pain, sorrow, and regret in her eyes.

Maria opened her eyes now, as the gem shattered, leaving her hand and turning to mist, a mist caught by the wind that swirled around and around, and slowly, ever so slowly, into the form of the woman she loved.

The wind faded, and Natasha stood before them, the tips of her hair blond, wearing an odd red and white uniform. 

Maria didn’t care. She didn’t care if she was hallucinating all of this. She stepped forward, took Natasha by the shoulders - finally, solid, not smoke and shadows - and kissed her. 

Natasha tasted….like herself. She smelled like leather and gunpowder. Maria put her fingers in Natasha’s hair, to feel the delicate strands, to pull her close until their bodies were touching. If she could get any closer she would.

Their lips parted long enough for her to touch her forehead to Natasha’s. “I’m never ever letting you out of my sight again.”

“That’s fair.” Natasha laughed, her lips curving into that ever so familiar smile. “I knew you could do it.”

“Did you?”

Her eyes softened. “I had faith and hope.”

“And love.” Maria closed her eyes and stepped away long enough to give Clint his turn. She owed him that much.

“I’m sorry, so sorry. It should have been me,” he said, enveloping Natasha into a hug. Tears streamed down his cheeks. 

“Stop it,” she scolded. The rest of her words were said in a whisper, one that had Clint nodding before pulling away. 

Maria reached out and grabbed Natasha’s hand, tangling their fingers together. It was going to be a long time before she would be able to keep from touching her, to make sure she was warm and real and there. She smiled. They would have that time now.

“Come on. Laura has made some real nice lemonade.”

“I love lemonade,” Natasha lifted their joined hands and kissed Maria’s knuckles. Her eyes sparkled. 

“I love you.”


	7. Epilogue

Dr. Strange watched from the very back of the crowd that had swelled the Stark estate to attend the wedding of Natasha Romanov and Maria Hill. One bride looked stunning in white, her red hair a vibrant splash of color to compliment her gown. The other looked no less stunning in her black suit.

Natasha had been escorted down the aisle by the giant green Hulk. That might have been surprising to some, but Strange thought it made sense that Banner gave up any remaining claim he might have had on her by this very symbolic gesture. Magic was all about symbols and rituals and here was simply another kind of magic. Maria had been very sure to cross of her t’s when it came to this moment. She’d worked too hard to get Natasha back.

Clint Barton stood beside Natasha as her best man. Meanwhile on the other side, Nick Fury would give the stink eye to anyone who so much as said the words “Maid of Honor” in his hearing. Morgan Stark had scattered pink roses everywhere, while Nathaniel Barton had to be encouraged to walk up the aisle clutching his little white pillow to his chest. He’d stood at the end, staring at everyone with wide frightened eyes.

“They make a cute couple. Don’t you think they make a cute couple? Glad it worked out for them, but I have to tell you, I didn’t think Hill was going to pull it off. Good on her. She always was stubborn, and this time it worked out in her favor...”

The ghost of Tony Stark would not stop talking.

Strange finally snapped and turned to glare at him. “Of everyone here, why did you seek me out?”

Stark smirked at him. “You can take it. Think it might freak some of them out.” He jutted the chin at the crowd, many of whom had been his friends and family during life. “Someone might try to do something crazy and bring me back.”

“You’re not looking for a love stone of your own?”

“I think that load already got shot,” he grinned, looking terribly alive despite the faintly blue cast to his aura. “Anyway, after all this Pep actually notices when I leave her a sign. I’m not going to haunt them. Just check in every now and then. I’ve got a lot of universe left to explore.”

“What’s it like? The other side?” Strange could not hide his curiosity.

Stark winked. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

He lost track of Stark after someone pressed a glass of champagne in his hand. Everyone’s attention went to Maria Hill, who held a wireless microphone.

“Thank you all for coming here to celebrate with us today.”

So focused on her speech, no one seemed to notice the other bride had disappeared. Strange wasn’t surprised when she snuck up on his right now changed out of her white gown and into sweatpants and a hoodie. “Ever the spy?”

“Thank you,” she said, ignoring his jab. “For listening to her. For remembering. For bringing me back.”

“Don’t thank me,” he said. “Live your damned life. You don’t owe anyone anything anymore.”

“Who are you trying to convince?” She smirked. “I always pay my debts, Doctor. Don’t forget that.”

He didn’t know what to say, so said nothing. She nodded and walked back to join her wife on stage, toasting the crowd. The mood was solemn, for a moment, but then the sound system kicked in and started to play “Celebrate.” Natasha and Maria made for the dance floor and everyone followed.

Good. They all could use a little bit of happiness.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for Lapillus for beta-ing about 95% of this. Any errors are my own.
> 
> This was very hard to write. It took me far longer than it needed to, but I'm glad I could finish.


End file.
